My confessions

Illustration by author

[01: The Introduction]

Dear reader, a piece of advice...if you happen to hear Lady Whistledown's voice speaking in these pages, know that the only thing me and her have in common is that we are both fictional, nothing more.

Most times I wish to jot with pleasure these confessions of mine but I cannot. I seem to have a certain loathsome proclivity towards creating something that is not. I twist my words to paint something more beautiful and aesthetically appealing for your sake, dear reader! I should begin by saying that it is not my wish to deceive you, but every now and then I cannot help myself and thus I will lie to you, presenting myself as more decent than I really am. Therefore, dear reader, I implore you to not believe me, I beseech you to see through the sham that I am about to present before you. I was told before that the truth has its own spirit and so I rest knowing that it will beckon thee to enlightenment. Ahh, but no, that is a lie too. I say this because I know myself well enough and because good art necessitates a good amount of deception. 

Whilst writing these confessions, I am immersed in the depths of beautiful words from Ed Sheeran, and yes, Hallelujah, I feel I'm home. At this moment, if perhaps you were someone on the outside looking in, you'd only see what would appear to be bubbles of what would appear to be pure bliss! Dear reader, forgive my digressing. I'm writing and rewriting these pages in hopes that these words would lack the essence that exists in all living things but I cannot. I digress to avoid the reality of my confessions. Well, in that case, let me be the judge of my own fate. To the extent of dismissing the devil in our midst, I am guilty as charged! 

Dear reader, humour my senseless and frivolous fancies for the most dramatic. I may be writing this lengthy introduction to try to make grand something that is not. Let me take you on a cruise to somewhere I think you've been before. Let me elucidate this murky wall that stares back at us like an owl in the dead night. This place is an art gallery and the wall before us seems to hold the portrait of the devil as the title of the artwork spells out “The devil in our midst” but in the picture - although the air is still murky and consequently making for a blurry vision - he doesn't seem to look like the devil, for we know that he is red, scaley, horned and with an anchor like pointy tail. However, the artist laid something more sinister, a mirror in front of curious onlookers! 

 America’s favourite criminal once said, “Don’t just go off and hide in the dark, wherever you go, look for some light!" Now, in search of some light, my confessions can begin!